“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.” - Bob Marley
While this quote is long, and I'm sure not everyone reading this read the whole thing, it is the perfect explanation of what not only I hope to find, but know I someday will.
What saddens me is that most girls do not have this belief that not only are they worthy of a man that feels that way about them but also that they will never find one anyways. Yes, I am a hopeless romantic and believe in all the fairy tales, but I really do believe that's a better way to live. When friends tell me that they cant seem to find the right guy (or vent that they never will) I cant help but wonder why they think that. Why do they believe Mr. Fictitious Man who they have created in their head will never find them and if and when he does, that he will think she isn't good enough for him?
I don't look in the mirror every day and think I'm perfect. I don't love the extra fat in a few unnamed places or the occasional blemish that pops up on my face. But, deep down I love myself. I love that I can strike up a conversation with almost anyone. I love that I have the ability to talk to people older than me. I love that I live my life the way I want to live it. And no, I am not a narcissist (although the last few sentences would lead you to believe so,) I have just found a way to love myself for both my great attributes and my pitfalls. I can recognize the things I dislike about myself and attempt to change them. And, that is the first step.
Unless you love yourself, you cannot love anyone else ... and they cannot love you either. This is something I wish every girl in their late teens and early twenties could realize. You may be happy when you are in a relationship, but one of the most important relationships of all is the one you have with yourself. Learning to love yourself is life-changing.
When I went through my last breakup, I thought the world was crashing down upon me. I hadn't really been "single" for an extended period of time since, well, since too long. I was lost. I didn't know how I'd survive or what I'd fill my free time doing. Someone wise gave me the advice to spend the time getting to know myself. At the time, I laughed it off and thought "obviously I know myself. It's me." But, I really didn't and now looking back, I know what they meant. I have definitely matured over the course of the last year ... and I owe thanks to myself. Yes, myself. Of course there were people and experiences along the way that assisted this growth, but committing to getting to know myself and not jumping into another relationship was the best thing that I could have ever done. I know now what I like and dislike. I know now what I want out of life. I know now who I am and who I want to one day be.
My advice to girls my age: spend a little time alone. You may be lonely at times (I'm not going to say its all fun and dandy) but it's worth it. One day you'll look back as I am and say "wow, that was something I really needed to do for myself." Trust me, its worth it.
Now, onto finding my next love... because enough is enough, and I'm done with dating me.
Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.
M
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